Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Gender moment week 4
This Thursday I am leaving to go to Tennessee for a music festival called Bonnaroo. I have been planning the trip for months i am going with two of my other girlfriends. I am twenty three years old and consider myself responsible and well traveled i have been to every continent and feel confident in my upcoming travels. However, my father is not handling things as well as I am. When my brother was 18 years old he and his friends went to a music festival where they drove and camped out for a week three states away. When i was talking to my brother he said Dad gave him some money and told him to have a good time. My father also gave me some money, mace told me to get my car inspected, make checklists, calls me regularly to make sure i have everything. Though i appreciate him caring i wondered why he acted this way i am 5 years older than my brother was when he went away with his friends, i just graduated college and have been living on my own. I think it all stems back to the fact that i am a female. When my father asked me what i would do if my car broke down and i jokingly said " flag down the first truck driver of course" he got upset. Obviously i know to call triple AAA and the police yet he thought i was serious. I know this world is dangerous but i find it interesting that my own father placed more concern on his daughter than he previously showed for his son. He even called me yesterday to see if i wanted to fly there instead of drive. He has pulled out all stops to ensure my safety an thought i greatly appreciate his concern i cant help but think would this situation be the same if i was a boy?
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Unfortunately, you don't have the wisdom yet of your parent. I am sure that you are capable and will stay with your girlfriends, but, our society still is a scary places for young women on their own...so, give you Dad a break. Women are capable but, violence and scary things continue to be a reality in this society no matter how evolved your are right now...have a great time, and stay safe.
ReplyDeleteI think that parents think that because we are women we are somehow less capable of handling ourselves in the real world. This happened to me and my sister as well on a few different occasions. While we appreciate the fact that they are worried about us and care about our well being it is frustrating to hear them say they do not think we are capable as being independent as our male siblings. My brother always had a later curfew and was able to do certain things I did not even bother asking to do. I do not think it is always a bad thing because it means we have caring parents but I do understand where you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteSarah,
ReplyDeleteAs a parent who has both sexes, I try not to differ in my parenting based on the sex of the child; however, I can see how that could happen. Parents' communication toward sons and daughters often reflects the parents' gendered steriotypes (Wood, 166). Since boys are considered "tougher" and more masculine, it seems that parents are more lenient with them and don't impose rules that are as strict as for girls, who are thought to be more vulnerable. Parents, especially fathers, encourage in children what they perceive to be gender-appropriate behaviors, fostering more independence, competitiveness, and aggression in sons and more emotional expressiveness and gentleness in daughters (Bryan & Check, 200; Fivush, Brotman, Buckner & Goodman, 2000; Galvin, 2006). Of course, it is nice that your Dad was concerned about you. You are always going to be his "little girl" despite how old you are, right? I can understand how you'd be frustrated being treated different than your brother who is 5 years younger, although you're not the first and definitely won't be the last to experience this double standard. Hopefully, you can focus on the positive - having parents who care! :)